Did you ever take a minute to just sit and think about life? How about all the “What if’s?” Lots of us did, Most of us do. Majority of us sat and thought if I would have done this, than that would have happened or have been different etc. But all that that is pointless to do. We can’t change what happened in our lives but we most definitely can change what we are doing about the effects now. We need to man up and take responsibility for everything. That is the best way to make a change in your life. Once you take that huge leap (no its not just a step its a LEAP because it’s a huge thing to do) and take responsibility your halfway there.

There are so many ways to take responsibility. Why do people always wait till after the catastrophe hits home to do something? Why do people wait till they overdose to get to rehab? Everyone who is on drugs must have seen at least one other person over-dose. Pick yourself up and do something to make sure you don’t end up like that friend.  Or how about accidents that happen from drinking. Save you life and the others around you and get a taxi on the way home from the club!! What? a taxi is below you? Fine get yourself a limo. Be responsible. There are SO many precautions we can take to avoid having to do major damage control after. This Limo company probably saved my life so many times every time I use them it probably saves me from a drinking and driving accident..

I mean for me taking responsibility for my mistakes and actions was my turning point. I stopped lying to myself and to those around me and I stopped hating on them. Up until that point everything was their fault.

Part One: My first crash:  Everyone of my wrong actions led back to them. Them meaning my parents and who ever else was around. They were to blame and they were at fault. Or they pushed me and led me to do it. No they were not the ones to blame. I was to blame. Yes they did push me and they definitely pushed a lot of buttons, but at the end of the day it was me who didn’t live up to the challenge. I was the weak one. I let them get to me. I was the one who stole the car keys at 2 am. I had a choice in how to react. I could have controlled myself and I could have came out on top. But that is not what happened. I gave in to my desire of the moment. It was the perfect opportunity for me to grow and I chose not to. I took the destructive route. I took the car and went out and yes I got caught. After I got busted I blamed it on everyone around me it was all their faults. I supposedly did it to prove myself to them. Yea right! Who was I kidding. Once I started taking responsibility for my my wrongs that’s when my life started to change. I was becoming a new person. What made me change? I had hit rock bottom once before and I was coming quite close to my second. I was at the point that my own mom was ready to give up on me! The first time I had my crash to the bottom made me give up on myself. I thought I had no way out. I thought I was screwed and there was no way to fix it. I was so deep in it that I didn’t think my life was important in this world. I didn’t think I was needed. I was so selfish. At that point I didn’t think about those around me. I lacked the maturity to think of the consequences of my actions, oh and those few nagging thoughts were easily dismissed by me blaming my actions on everyone else and how it was their fault and they made me do it. This was all what led to crash number one. Getting over crash number one was not as hard as my second crash. I was still young and immature. I was not ready to take the steps needed to change myself and to be a better person. Also my parents were there for me. They helped me out of the hole I dug and tried to get me to stand up on my own feet. But I was not ready. So all I did was go right back to my devilish ways.

The second time around i almost gave up on myself again. But that’s for another time. Too much emotions for one sitting.